My father had quintuple by-pass surgery in 1999, never woke up, and died 10 days later. I remember watching the nurse who tended to him during those 10 days and thinking that she had no way of knowing what a special human being he was. When the surgeon finally suggested it was time to take him off life support, the family readily agreed. At that point, a tear ran down the nurse's cheek. I never saw her again, but I'll never forget that gift.
Getting the balance right to support someone who cries is a fine line. Being alongside the person as close as they want without being intrusive. Respect the personal space unless they crave for a hug. Listen and do not try to 'fix the problem'. Tears carry sorrow, they help wash it away or materialize the joy that cannot find words.
I find your thoughts so validating, Frederique! Once, I found a teacher colleague, waiting in the hallway for her next classroom to open. Tears were streaming down her face, and there were only a couple of minutes before students would crowd the hallways--not enough time to converse deeply. I came to her side and stood next to her, facing in the same direction as she was, and I took her hand, which she clasped. We stood there together until the rustle of students was heard. No words were exchanged--then or later--about the shared moment, but I always felt that we had experienced something special, connective and spiritual. I know it was special for me; I hope she felt my love, concern, and support.
My father had quintuple by-pass surgery in 1999, never woke up, and died 10 days later. I remember watching the nurse who tended to him during those 10 days and thinking that she had no way of knowing what a special human being he was. When the surgeon finally suggested it was time to take him off life support, the family readily agreed. At that point, a tear ran down the nurse's cheek. I never saw her again, but I'll never forget that gift.
Getting the balance right to support someone who cries is a fine line. Being alongside the person as close as they want without being intrusive. Respect the personal space unless they crave for a hug. Listen and do not try to 'fix the problem'. Tears carry sorrow, they help wash it away or materialize the joy that cannot find words.